


Of The Worst Things

by orphan_account



Series: Hanahaki [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: :), Aromantic Kageyama Tobio, Asexual Kageyama Tobio, But today is not that day, Eventual Romance, F/F, Hanahaki Disease, Implied Aromantic Character, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, POV Second Person, Requited Love, Tsukishima Kei-centric, Unrequited Love, hanihaki disease makes angst so wild lol, i made a series but idek its ill keep adding to it, one day itll have a happy ending, yall im an angst writer its what i do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-07 13:46:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10361793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: You hear it like myth.Hanahaki disease.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Back @ it again w the angsty Hanahaki fics Leah, damn

You hear it like myth.

_Hanahaki disease._

It becomes hearing adults talking about it on the train, embarrassed and flustered while they talk about children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews that were caught with a petal on their tongue.

It becomes you coming home from school and finding your brother in the bathroom, blood on his lips and Rue flower petals in the toilet. " _Are you okay?_ " You ask.

A sharp inhale, a snapped response. 

" _I'm fine_."

He's not. You want to say so, but you're scared to.

A rude joke, an inappropriate topic adults snap at you for bringing up, something that doesn't _happen_ to real people.

It's finding a girl on concrete steps, tears in her eyes, and Globe Amaranth stuck in her throat and purple Violet splattered with blood in front of her, as she thinks, _why'd it have to be her?_

A boy on the team leaving early, complaining about stomach pains. Only to catch him in the toilet, flushing Snowdrop petals down the drain, begging you not to say a word.

Your best friend, collapsed on the floor, gasping for air as he tries to breathe through his bloody saliva and red Tulip petals. Crying, whispering your name. " _Tsukki_." He tries. " _I'm sorry._ "

" _Who is it?_ "

He won't answer you.

It's your brother being rushed to the hospital for cuts on his wrists because _he couldn't take it._

It's the girl on the concrete steps, scratching her arms until she bleeds, crying terribly hard and damning herself. Damning the girl she loves, damning her feelings for her, damning it _all_.

It's the boy on the team, moments away from crying as he begs. " _Kageyama, I'm sorry_." He tries. " _I didn't mean to fall in love with you_."

It's your best friend, who stops looking at you.

It's people at school, whispering about him behind cupped hands.

Venomous whispers.

" _He has Hanahaki. I saw him in the infirmary._ "

" _Well,_ I _heard he's in love with a_ boy."

It's being awake at three am, fire in your lungs, fear and anxiety burning a hole in your stomach.

It's the pale, yellow Tulip petals on your bedroom floor as it sets in _who_ you love.

It's the worst things in life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonquil. Lavender. Mallow. Forget-me-nots. Primrose.
> 
>  
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> _Return my affection. Devotion. Consumed by love. True love. Eternal love._
> 
>  
> 
> You wipe more tears out of your eyes.

You cough up Lemon Blossom, and wipe tears out of your eyes.

You walk to school alone, passing by a garden.

Jonquil. Lavender. Mallow. Forget-me-nots. Primrose.

_Return my affection. Devotion. Consumed by love. True love. Eternal love._

You wipe more tears out of your eyes.

 

The boy on the team cries in front of you. " _He doesn't love me. He can't. He can't love anyone_."

A sharp breath, he continues. " _Lucky_." 

You try. " _There's the operation_."

He laughs, bitterly. " _You've seen those people after. I don't want that_."

You think of your cousin, the relative you never see anymore. Older than you and your brother, but young when she caught it.

You remember her chapped lips and sunken in eyes, bony body and bruised neck. She doesn't smile anymore.

You think of that happening to him. 

You say nothing as he continues to cry.

That's a lie, you do say something. " _I'm sorry._ "

 

The girl on the concrete stairs was smiling. Her eyes would light up and you'd catch her kissing a taller, dark haired girl outside the club room. Hard, fierce kissing that left both of them breathless.

You're happy that she's found someone.

 

Your best friend still hasn't spoken to you. You saw him outside the school gates, kicking a pile of Rainflower petals to the side, pretending like they don't exist.

Your chest hurts when you see him turn and walk away.

Eglantine Rose petals are left in your wake.

 

The boy on the team sits with you outside your house. You've been talking a lot lately. " _Do you think it will ever stop?_ "

" _I'll let you know when I figure it out_."

He looks at you. " _Who is it?_ "

Your eyes drift, the house three doors down with two sets of small hand prints stuck in the pavement outside.

A plaque outside the house. Bold, gold letters printed clearly: _Yamaguchi._

The boy on the team follows your gaze. " _Oh_."

 

Your brother calls you, it's a brief phone call, an update on your life. You ask quietly. " _Honoka. Our cousin - She got the operation, right?_ "

" _For Hanahaki? Yeah_."

" _You know if she ever got... Back to normal?_ "

Your brother sighs. " _She still doesn't smile_."

You give a farewell moments after.

 

Anxiety crawls over you, glancing over and over across the classroom to your best friend, slumped in his seat as another whisper is hissed.

" _The boy with Hanahaki, I heard he tried confessing yesterday._ "

" _Outside the school gates, I don't know what happened though._ "

" _Guess his feelings weren't returned_."

You excuse yourself to the bathroom, barely making it before Narcissus is jumping out your throat.

 

You find him leaving practice early without you. " _Can you please stop ignoring me?_ "

" _I'm not._ "

" _You are._ " You said. " _I don't care for reasons, for whatever they may be, but just don't lie to me._ "

He turns to you, shortly speaking. " _Tsukki,_ " He chokes, he barrels towards you. Your arms open automatically and catch him as he sobs on your shoulder. " _I'm so sorry._ "

" _It's okay._ "

 

Laying next to him. He's asleep, your throat burns. Love lies bleeding drips onto your cold bathroom floor.

This can't carry on.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Lemon Blossom - Discretion_
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> _Rainflower - I love you back_
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> _Eglantine Rose - A wound to heal_
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> _Narcissus - Unrequited love, selfishness_
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> _Love lies bleeding - Hopelessness_
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> Tobio is aromantic/asexual which is why he ain't want the Hinalove.
> 
> I'm really happy and flattered you guys liked this so much awe awe.
> 
> Y'all are sweet <3
> 
> Probs will add a third part btw

**Author's Note:**

> _Rue - Regret, sorrow, repentance_   
>  _Globe Amaranth - Immortal Love_   
>  _Violet [Purple] - Love between two women_   
>  _Snowdrop - Consolation or hope_   
>  _Tulip [Red] - Undying love_   
>  _Tulip [Yellow] - Once, hopeless love to now being a common expression for cheerful thoughts and sunshine_
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> I kind of have a personal headcanon that someone that suffers from Hanahaki disease, the flower petals they vomit up's meaning would pertain in some form to the particular love or person they're in love with. 
> 
> Akiteru's Rue flowers are suppose to foreshadow his regret&sorrow later that he reacted the way he did, and possibly effected Kei from being a poor role model ~~dammit I love Akiteru, it's okay babe, you were hurting you don't need to apologize TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF~~. Hitoka's Globe Amaranth &purple Violet is suppose to show an unyielding love she has for Kiyoko, another woman. Shouyou's Snowdrop, the _hope_ that Tobio will return his feelings. And in some type of way, maybe foreshadow he _won't_ , but maybe as some type of consolation prize, Shouyou finds a new love. Red Tulips, Tadashi's undying love for Kei, and Kei's yellow Tulips - showing that at first it seems hopeless, since he isn't able to put two and two together and figure that ~~Tadashi likes you, dumbass~~ Tadashi's 'unrequited' love is, in fact, for him. He'll eventually realize &then it's all sunshine and cheerfulness.
> 
> Thank you for reading!!
> 
> \--Leah


End file.
